Cosmic Shame

An Open Letter to Jack Black (Originally posted Dec. 2006):



You suck now. And when I say "now" I don't mean, from now on. I mean now as in right now, you suck. Right about after you finished King Kong. You did good in that. But, I mean, this movie The Holiday looks so fucking bad it gives me chills. Let's face it, the work you have been doing lately has not been up to par, and now it looks as if you are about to sell out completely. Save for The Pick of Destiny.

I haven't seen Destiny yet, but it is the exception to your more recent output because here you chose to pursue a project even though the odds were stacked against the chances of it being a commercial success. You took it old school and you set the artist free. For that reason my door is still open to you, Jables. But it's gonna take more. So what I'm going to need from you is a little more of this and a lot less of this.

You might be thinking as you read this, which I am assured that you are, "Hey, ok so I did one lame movie, so what? I kids to feed, 'Monk!" Then, take this as a plea not to jump into the abyss. For heaven's sake man, I love you. We all do. And we'd hate to see you go down an ugly path.

So quit your day job. Focus on your craft (rocking). One time. Before it's all over, you've died, you've squandered it, YA FUCKIN' ROBOT!!!

Sincerely,

da dronkmunk


p.s. Looks like you are starting to lose some weight. Don't even think about it. (no Kate Winslet)